Although I increased my meds yesterday, I am incredibly down today. I have shut myself up in my room all day and didn't speak to my parents until after 6pm. That was just because I had to be in the kitchen to cook myself some dinner. I guess it all started this morning when I had to coordinate two of my friends, Mark and Max, with going to see a movie this weekend in Charlotte. Now, I have to leave Greenville at 5:30 and pray we hit no delays or I will be late for the movie. What was supposed to be a fun thing I was going to do now becomes a stressful thing I don't want to do. I've been watching this really shitty season of the West Wing (the one after Sorkin left) and the reason it is so bad is because it comes out of the gray areas of the first four seasons and starts treating politics as absolutes. People get all they want and win, which I am sure is not how politics works. The first four seasons felt like wading through molasses but they also felt true. Now, things are moving fast but unrealistically.
So I started thinking about how I have to compromise sometimes and do things I don't want to do in order to do things I do want to do. Seeing Dunkirk in 70mm is important to me but I don't know if it is worth the hassle of the long drive back and forth. This is after I talked myself out of going to Carowinds with a group of my friends on Saturday. They were going for the water park and all I can imagine is how hot and miserable it will be. I don't know what's wrong with me.
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