Day 12: A Case of the Spring Hornies

Man, was yesterday a trying day for me. At work, I don't have terribly much to do (which is how I am able to write these blog entries). I am trying to figure out how much to reveal here. Is anyone I know reading this? Will they eventually? Will I be judged harshly for my very human failings? Can I expect blowback from being honest?

Well, look, a friend of mine was doing a promotion for her retail store where she and other staff members were hanging out on the street in only aprons. While my friend is an attractive woman, I am not attracted to her personally (if that makes sense?). Still, upon reading about this promotion, I became obsessed with seeing pictures of anyone involved. Now, I knew there wouldn't be any gratuitous nudity but it stoked my imagination in a way that hasn't happened for a couple of years, at least. I searched for webcams and photographic evidence of the promotion. When pics finally did start rolling in, there was absolutely nothing to get excited about. It was all done very modestly and tastefully. But it signaled to me that I might be desperately lonely when it comes to female interaction. Did I mention I was at work during all of this?

I haven't been on a date in about five years and haven't been intimate with a woman over four years. This includes no kissing, no petting, no nothing. I have lived like a monk since before I moved to Kansas City. I may have mentioned earlier that I am grossly overweight and, even if I met a girl crazy enough to want to get some of this, I would not feel confident enough to pursue any moves. Whenever I think about losing weight, it is almost always just so I can maybe get back out on the dating scene.

I just started a new program that I'm hoping will unfold over the next six months and cause me to lose some weight. Step one was the elimination of calorie-packed sodas between meals. I'll talk step two when I get there. In the meantime, I have to continue wondering what is going to trip my trigger next and make me girl crazy?

Food since last time: I ordered a small cheese pizza from Dominos and ate the whole damn thing at lunch with one bottle of Dr. Pepper. For dinner, I had leftover cajun sausages and mac. I added barbecue sauce to the sausage and grated cheese to the mac but it wasn't a big meal. I had a cup of Dr. Pepper with it. This morning, due to thievery by someone in my house, my morning DP was stolen so I had to go buy a larger one to wash down my SEC biscuit and three mini-cruellers. I have been sticking to Coke Zero between meals as per my deal.

Pop Culture: I started rereading some old Ms. Marvel comics last night but mostly watched Master of None and Kimmy Schmidt. Master of None has inspired my next entry.